No, but I like beached whales….

14 April, 2007

I collect turtles, oldies rock and roll I am a Guest Teacher. Please no one under 40 or living out side the USA. I like Football, Basketball, and Hockey. I live in New Mexico,USA Age 53,

Her Keywords:
Picture chocolate Picture
Picture coins Picture
Picture collect stamps Picture
Picture i like to dance Picture
Picture penpals Picture
Picture turtles Picture


HoN formatting

6 February, 2007

Those retards @ HoN have changed the formatting once again and now, as you can see, the keywords want a line to themselves and until I cna be arsed to work out a workaround, I wont be including htem unless they are truely funny.

Cutting to the chase [which aint easy in mums dress]

6 February, 2007

The guys at HoN have changed once again the formatting of profiles. The posts here will reflect that [i cant be bothered with anyhting more than cut’n’paste]


Hi there. I have recently moved back to London following living and working abroad. I’m not looking for friends or a serious partner, just men and women for sex.

Her Keywords:
dressing up
middle east
saudi arabia

Mum!…. dad’s wearing your clothes again!

14 January, 2007

There is a never ending supply of these:

Hi, I am a single girl from the North East of England. Just looking to meet some nice people to chat too, and make some new friends.

Duckbilled Platyface

14 January, 2007

WTF….seroiously, WTF??

Hi thanx for stopping and taking time to read my intro. Im a fun loving lady into meeting new people and having a laugh. I like nice gentlemen so if u a good lookin, sexy gentle man, then im sure u would rate me (HOT) lol

Her Keywords:
hip hop
more men
nice people

Erasing the past [ever so slightly]

21 December, 2006

i love this womans photoshop skillz – that or she has 4 legs and 4 arms. Maybe she is Vishnu?

I have short sandy blondish red hair, deep green eyes, 120 pounds, 5’5, athletic build, dark tan, straight teeth. I love the outdoors, traveling, love the beach, concerts, sporting events, hanging out with friends and family,

Her Keywords: animals augusta ga bartender beach boats caring
fourwheelers good person hanging with friends jetskis lake laughing
love to have fun music reading romantic shopping soft heart
spontaneous tennis traveling volleyball 706

Justis Styem is Hard Battel

21 December, 2006
Her Keywords: csi miami dancer dancing hip hop

If you saw this profile would you really click ‘yes’? you just know there is a whole can of drama worms waiting to munch on your arse if you do.

It also amazes me how people still post badly spelt intros in this age of spellcheckers.

hi my name is nikki i am fighting for my daughter in court its a hard battel if you dont have a great lawyer you wont win in court even how bad of a criminal your ex is are justis styem sucks
Her Keywords: csi miami dancer dancing hip hop

STFU and get back in your box

11 September, 2006

WTF is the point of going on about how hard you are as a dom and then ramble about how you like to take a beating from one guy?

I reckon its a case of that she doesn’t much like being a sub and so wants to find her own one to take it out on.

I only ever tried S&M once and my safety word was “ouch”.

I am a 27 year old Domme, I am in a D/s relationship with my one and only Master who goes by the name of Bone. I am a switch but I only switch for Him and am Domme to everyone else. I have been in the lifestyle for approx 12 years.
Keyword Tags: bdsm bondage canes cbt cp crops mistress spanking

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wtf is on the windowsill?

10 September, 2006

Is this woman a child killer, stuffing them and mounting them on her windowsill & mantlepiece?


hi my name is melissa im 27 from london, i have 2 kids, and a lovely boyfriend dan who im mad about mwahh babes. just on here 2 make friends really so if u wanna chat then click yes!!! xx
Keyword Tags: archers bags bed bowling cheeky cheerful cinema
clothes clubs computer cooking dancing dogs drinking easygoing
eyes films flirting flowers fun hair jewellery kissing leo
lipgloss lips love make-up mobile phone money music my friends
my kids nails pillows pub reality tv resturants romantic sex
shoes shy talking theme parks tv wkd blue

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Blog stats & search engine referers

5 September, 2006

Its funny to look at the site stats and see what people are looking for when they find here. Seems there are a lot of people into transexuals.


Search Views
buffalo t-girl 2
camel toes 2006 2
camel toe tag 1
nek8sua 1
buffalo willing 1


Search Views
do you like sponge 2
sarah michelle gellar’s hairy arms 2
transexual camel toe 1
titties 1
chineese girls 1

She can also transform into a bat

30 August, 2006

and possesses the body of a 14 year old boy. The little ‘hah’ and ‘hehe’ at the end of each sentence is really unsettling.

Plain freaky.

I’m interested in MEN ONLY! Hi I’m Lisa, do you like what you see, hehehe? If you do drop me a line.
Keyword Tags: cats coffee leather pants movies pepsi piercings

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Look at my rat…..

29 August, 2006

…the one in the cage, silly!

Love the carpet as well. People do seem to do classic shots in their houses but dont tidy up. A friend has a blog for AM porn and posts pics that people post themselves to the internets of themlooking all ‘seductive’ in front of their dirty laundry and stuff.

Im a qualified fitness instructor,personal trainer and im also a lifeguard, I regularly use the gym and i like to socialise with my friends when im not working. Im easy to get on with and im looking for someone with similar interests!
Keyword Tags: cats close relationships family florida friends
gym hip hop jack daniels kelis lanzarote modelling my little boy
outgoing photography rnb scissor sisters shopping socialising
spain sunshine tenerife thoughful travelling

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Wrong….just plain wrong.

29 August, 2006
Hi, I’m Cher, I’m 30 single, no kids (but love them) like music (especially Rock) motorbikes, socialising, love animals and not taking life too seriously. Looking for interesting people with life experience. GSHO a must. Fancy a chat? Click on YES.
Keyword Tags: adrenaline adventurous affectionate attractive
companionship drawing fast living friendship fun funny generous
genuine good listener honesty intelligent interesting laid back
love animals love kids low maintainence motorbikes music mystical
natural nature naughty reading rock scorpio singing single
social tactile talking tattoo terry pratchett thunderstorms
trust understanding wicca

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This is what happens when….

28 August, 2006

….you pretend that its Halloween everyday of the year.

Hi! I’m just a fun loving person who loves to laugh and smile. I love to have a great time and I am up for just about anything.
Keyword Tags: bbq christian cuddling dating deer park dr pepper
education family friends fun houston laugh outdoors outgoing
smile swimming teacher travel

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Dislikes: sunlight and my body producing vitamin D

28 August, 2006
My name is Michelle im divorcing my husband no children and i love poetry books and movies and the study of witch craft and listening to music. im 5’7 about 125 pounds red hair brown eyes and a good person. i enjoy back rubs and smoking ciggerettes.
Keyword Tags: backrubs chocolate movies music sex tv wicca

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Obviously more than going to see a dentist….

28 August, 2006
im a mother of 3 kids its 2 girls and 1 boy and i love them more then life its self
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Lick that foot now!

28 August, 2006

wtf….and “no black men” in the keyweirds

Fun & spunky -have my gloomy days 2,hey Im nrml.Really! I love kissin,hangin,friends,outdoor activities,water sport.Like 2try new things that dont hurt! Need attn from guys &1 who shows his bod.Like sharp minded guys.Intelligence & a hot bod…mmm!
Keyword Tags: agnostic balls baseball birds creampies flowers
greek guys hamburgers hanging with the guys hiking japanese food
karma men nature no black men pda sex sleeping std free tantra

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honey monster neck

28 August, 2006

My flatmate says peopel like this have a honey monster [no] neck. [remember him from the sugar puffs ads?].

She needs to really fecking eat as well.

I’m Tammy 26 6ft 130lbs blue eyes, dkblnde hair, outgoing, tee and jeans, lookin for serious relationship or friends, straight forward about what I want. I have a great boyfriend lookin for cool people to hangout with.
Keyword Tags: affection animals bke boating bowling chocolate
cuddling dancing fast cars flowers goin out with friends goin to the beach
horseback riding kissing lucky brand massages mexican food military
motorcycle rides movies muscle cars music olive garden photography
romantic shopping sushi sweet thai food traveling trucks virgo
working out

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I dont want to look at your profile….again! And that IS my plan!

28 August, 2006
I am 26, and a single mom… I do not want to get hurt … again.. so if that is your plan…. dont bother
Keyword Tags: cars fun music singing single softball tattoos

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Theres a party going on in my mouth and everyone is violently throwing up

28 August, 2006

This has to be the most explicit, terrifying, vulgar, nauseating and yet entrancing profile yet. This one scores the most catagories as well. EVAR!
NSFFA [Not Safe For Fucking Anything]

I am a straight male / lesbian t-girl that is caring, warm hearted person. I love to pamper and be pampered me. I am always a lady but can also be the tramp. I am looking forward to hearing from all If you. I serious send me a flower.
Keyword Tags: caring chat rooms computers crossdresser crossdressing
giving lingere motorcycles outdoors sensual sex sexual she-male
shemale t-girl tgirl threesomes tranny transexual transgender

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